one time i got bored in class so i drank 3 bottles of water and when my teacher asked me what i was doing i told him i was trying to drown myself
- if album titles were honest
- take this to your grave: i fucking fucking hate you so fucking much and i hate myself twice as fucking much
- from under the cork tree: i really wanna have sex with you but i also wanna kill myself
- infinity on high: i dont really wanna do this anymore (you and the suicidal thoughts)
- folie a deux: life is good and i hope it stays that way
- believers never die: bye bitches
im fucking cryiNG OH MY GOD???? THIS GUY FROM SHREK
IS CALLED LORD FARQUAAD RIGHT??? AND FARQUAAD SOUNDS A LOT LIKE FUCKWAD WHEN U SAY IT
HOW DID THAT ONE SLIP PAST
a musical entitled “may, senior year” filled with hits such as:
“i never knew you wanted to join the military”
“why are you getting married”
“that’s an awful tattoo”
“what am i doing for the rest of my life”
“how will i afford deodorant in college”
“why can’t i graduate already”
“why can’t i graduate already (reprise): why am i graduating already”
how do mermaids have babies
do you think the people who play teletubbies feel horny on set sometimes
why didn’t tarzan have a beard
how many things are there
How do ducks masturbate
The night blogging is strong with these ones.
I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life
- 1. What's your favorite candle scent?
- 2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
- 3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
- 4. How old do you think you'll be when you get married?
- 5. Do you know a hoarder?
- 6. Can you do a split?
- 7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
- 8. How many oceans have you swam in?
- 9. How many countries have you been to?
- 10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
- 11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
- 12. What would you name your son if you had one?
- 13. What's the worst grade you got on a test?
- 14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?
- 15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?
- 16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
- 17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
- 18. Did your mother go to college?
- 19. Are your grandparents still married?
- 20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
- 21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
- 22. What's the first amusement park you've been to?
- 23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
- 24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?
- 25. Is your father bald?
- 26. Do you know triplets?
- 27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
- 28. Have you ever had Indian food?
- 29. What's the name of your favorite restaurant?
- 30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?
- 31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ's, etc.)?
- 32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
- 33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
- 34. Who's your favorite person in the world?
- 35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?
- 36. Can you whistle?
- 37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?
- 38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
- 39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?
- 40. What medical conditions do you have?
- 41. How many times have you been to the hospital?
- 42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
- 43. Where do you buy your jeans?
- 44. What's the last compliment you got?
- 45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
- 46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?
- 47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
- 48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
- 49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn't real?
- 50. Why do you have a tumblr?
stuff you ask your mom:
- mom where’s my towel
- mom what do we eat for dinner
- mom what time is it
- mom where’s my phone
- mom when do you come back
- mom what day is it
stuff you ask your dad
- dad where is mom
[AGGRESSIVELY CARES FOR YOU FROM A DISTANCE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER]
- •TAKE A PICTURE OF
- 1.What you're drinking.
- 2.Your mobile phone.
- 3.Television remote.
- 4.Your hands.
- 5.Your lips.
- 6.Your favorite possession.
- 7.Your favorite stuffed animal/toy.
- 8.Your face right now.
- 9.The shirt you're wearing.
- 10.What you're eating.
- 11.Your room.
- 12.Your T.V.
- 13.Something random.
- 14.Your ceiling.
- 15.Your eye.
- 16.Your computer.
- 17.Your favorite piece of jewelry.
- 18.Your favorite item of clothing.
- 19.Your favorite shoes.
- 20.Something important to you.
- 21.Something shiney.
- 22.Something red.
- 23.Something orange.
- 24.Something yellow.
- 25.Something green.
- 26.Something blue.
- 27.Something purple.
- 28.Something pink.
- 29.Something black.
- 30.Something rainbow.
- 31.Something that makes you smile.
- 32.Something that brings back a good memory.
- 33.Something that brings back a bad memory.
- 34.Something you've had since you were a child.
- 35.Something old.
- 36.Something new.
- 37.Something you think is cute.
- 38.Something funny.
- 39.Something cool.
- 40.Something weird that you own.